Dimitri's duds.

I've had a few raves about Skinn by Dimitri James products, but I have to admit, not everything is fantastic. There are a few products I've tried that have not impressed me.

Skinn Cleansing System These are the products that I wanted most and they're also the ones that disappointed me the most. Dimitri goes into this huge spiel on his TV spots about how you need a different morning and evening cleanser to balance PH or something (I admit, I kind of tuned out), and I can go along with the logic of different cleansers for different purposes. It's generally a habit of mine to use a foaming cleanser in the shower in the mornings when I just need to freshen my face after sleep, and a cream cleanser in the evening after using an oil cleanser to remove makeup. These products seemed to fit the bill for my routine, I had already purchased several of his other products and loved them, so how could these cleansers not be great, right?

Well, they kind of suck. Not so bad that I would throw them away, but certainly bad enough that I am getting them over and done with and not repurchasing. Sulfate Free Rapid Exfoliating Cleanser (the morning one) smells like Domestos or something you spray on your shower walls to remove soap scum. It's hideous. As a cleanser itself, it's okay, but nothing special. Olive & Enzyme Rich Cleanser and Resurfacing Mask (the evening one) is just useless. It doesn't clean ANYTHING. I use an oil cleanser to remove makeup before the cream cleanser anyway, but isn't it reasonable to expect that a product specially formulated to cleanse one's face at the end of the day, should have some ability to take makeup off? Otherwise, wouldn't the company have some other product in its cleansing range for that purpose (it doesn't)? It also has an irritating fake orange sherbet smell. A lot of people seem to like it, but I hate it.

Finally, to top off the annoyances of these products, I feel like both of them (but particularly the evening one) leave a film on my face, no matter how much I rinse with water and wipe with a face washer. I have actually started using a toner again - after stopping a few months ago - just to get that feeling off my face.

Crease Release Triple Action Eye Contour Serum Again, this isn't a super-terrible product that I would throw away unfinished, but it's an eye serum meant to smooth fine lines and reduce dark circles, and it just does... well, not much at all. It also takes ages to sink in, so you have to sit there waiting and waiting before you can put makeup on around the eyes. As with the cleansers, I will finish it, but I won't repurchase it. I'll go back to Neostrata Bionic Eye Cream, which I know does work.

3 Minute Lip Party Rapid Volumizing Mask I didn't ever have any interest in this product, so I feel a bit mean bagging it out. It came as part of a kit with the 3X Lip Volumizing Serum that I was really after (and that I love). It just doesn't do anything. Completely pointless.

UPDATE: On second thoughts, I am really, really hating these cleansers. I just ordered my usual stuff on Strawberrynet, and as soon as they arrive, I'm chucking these. They are awful.

My 5 favourite skincare products in 2009.

I started to make a list of my five favourite products, but I couldn't narrow it down (I have shopped a lot this year!), so I've decided to break it up into categories: skincare, makeup, perfume and bath and body. I'm only including products I actually discovered this year, not those I love and buy over and over. I've also tried to include only one product from each brand (with limited success).

So, starting with skincare, here are my five favourites for the year:

5. Skin Beauty Repair Concentrate.I have tried a lot of Clarins products over the last few years, and I'm generally a fan. Earlier in the year I was at the Clarins counter stocking up on cleanser when I got into a discussion with the sales assistant about how my skin had been playing up (I had been trying out lots of different samples, and basically just slapping too many different things on my face). She recommended this serum, and though I nearly keeled over at paying so much for something I'd never even heard of, I am a sales assistant's dream when it comes to falling for the spiel, so I shelled out for it, thinking that she really did know a sucker when she saw one.

The premise of this product is that you use it for a week or two when your skin is unbalanced, sensitive or problematic, and then put it away until you need it again. I did just that, and damned if it didn't work! It settled my skin down considerably, and the redness and breakouts disappeared. And even though it's a teeny bottle, it seems to go a long way - I'm still on the same bottle I originally bought, and I've used it nightly for a week or two at least three or four times. When I run out, I will definitely buy more (though probably on Strawberrynet, where it's way cheaper) just to have on hand for when I need it.

4. Joey New York Correct-A-Line. It's just my luck that I should discover this the same year the company closed down. However, I do have two unopened jars and one that is still almost full, so I doubt I'll be running out any time soon. This is a primer that does an amazing job of blurring and smoothing out fine lines, forehead wrinkles, and crow's feet. Not much more to say about it, really. It does exactly what it claims to do.

3. Chanel Precision Huile Confort Silky Cleansing Oil. A few months ago I read a blog post about double cleansing - removing makeup with an oil-based cleanser first, and then using a cream-based cleanser to get rid of all the residue. I love the idea of being really clean, so I decided to try it. I searched around Strawberrynet looking at various cleansing oils, and eventually decided on this one, mostly because I've liked every other Chanel product I've tried. It's the type of oil that you apply to dry skin, and then add water, causing it to turn into a milky cleanser. It's great for getting all the last bits of makeup off, particularly eye makeup, and it makes my skin feel really soft and fresh. I've been using it for about two months and I still have about two-thirds of the bottle left, so it seems to last a long time as well. Definitely worth the money.

2. Skinn by Dimitri James Wrinkle Balm Replenishing Night Treatment. I've raved about this product before, so I won't go on about it too much. Suffice to say that this is the best moisturiser I've ever used. When I wake up, my skin is soft and smooth, and the wrinkles in my forehead have diminished considerably since I started using it. I have a few unopened moisturisers that I have made a resolution to use before I buy any more of this, but to be honest, I am beginning to panic a bit at the thought of being without it.

1. Estee Lauder Perfectionist CP+ Wrinkle Lifting Serum. Oh man. I think this might be my favourite skincare product of all time. Soooo expensive, but soooo worth it. If I were rich I would just bathe in this stuff every night. It smoothes out wrinkles, softens skin, and lasts for ages. Ridiculously expensive, which is why I don't currently have any (sad face), but I'm saving my gold coins until I have enough to buy a big bottle. Love, love, LOVE it.

Not quite a trout pout, maybe a goldfish.

I have annoyingly thin lips. I can't wear red lipstick, and I have to always wear a lipliner if I'm wearing a lipstick that has any real colour in it or it just bleeds everywhere. I've tried a few lip-plumping products, but I am pretty skeptical about such things, so I haven't made any major effort to find The One.

As part of my current obsession with all things Dimitri, I bought 3X Lip Volumizing Serum in a kit from the shopping channel (I know that makes me a saddo. Shut up.). And I have to say, it actually works. I've been using it two or three times a day for a couple of weeks, and there is a definite plumping of my lips. I asked Makeup BFF J and Noodle Arms, and they both agreed they could see a difference.

Don't get me wrong - you won't get Lisa Rinna lips (not that I would personally want that, but some people seem to think that's a look to go for), and I'm assuming that it only actually works while you're consistently using the product. However, for a noticeable plumping and a more defined lipline, this is a great product that does what it claims to do. It's quite nice as a lip moisturiser too, and it has a pleasant bubble-gum scent. I would certainly buy it again.

Today I lost a mate...

A few weeks ago I had a bit of a rave about my new god Dimitri James and his moisturisers. At the time, I'd only used them briefly. Now I've been using them for a while, and all I can say is if you're of a certain age and can stand the feel of quite-heavy face creams, these are freakin' AMAZING. I swear to you, my forehead wrinkles have smoothed out dramatically. This morning I ordered a bunch of his lip and eye products, hoping for the same MIRACLE RESULT. 

However, I am heartbroken to announce that the original item of his that I really wanted (which is how I ended up with the moisturisers in the first place) - Orchid Gel - is doing me no good at all. It's a great primer in the sense that it really does mattify and seem to make the lines and wrinkles just disappear, but it makes me break out every time.

After trying it several times  in the hope that it was actually something else causing the problem, I have finally admitted defeat and passed my gorgeous-smelling little jar into the grasping mitts of Makeup BFF J.

At least it will have a good home and be loved and cherished. And it's the best thing for everyone, really.

You'll have to excuse me now. I think I have something in my eye -

In which I make an embarrassing confession.

As the more astute among you would have gathered by now, my obsession with skincare products (and by extension, makeup) is a desperate need to cling to whatever youth I have left. I look 30 (I'm not), and I want to stay looking 30. FOREVER. I want to be 70 and look 30. But in a good way, not that creepy Joan Collins way. And I don't want to have to resort to Botox and Dermal Fillers. Have you seen Amanda Keller and Kylie lately? Not a good look.

This explains why I currently have 7 full size and 7 trial size moisturisers. I am looking for The One. That one that will sweep away the crow's feet and make me look as fresh as the driven snow.

A couple of weeks ago, when I only had 5 full size moisturisers, I was idly flicking channels and happened across TVSN. Now, I've only ever bought one thing from TVSN - an eyebrow kit thingie that cost $60 and was so cheap and crappy and plasticy that I immediately sent it back and swore off shopping from TV for ever.

I do, however, have a secret fondness for watching the channel. I am intrigued by the hosts' ability to babble on endlessly about any product that is put in front of them. There's definitely an art to that, and Not Belvedere, Shiny Blonde Lady With Man Hands, and Lady Who Always Seems To Be Pregnant have it mastered. The level of enthusiastic delight they can summon up for the Tony Little Rock and Roll Stepper or hideously gauche slabs of precious metals is amazing and impressive. I quite often sit there staring at the TV, in a little bit of a trance listening to Not Belvedere extol the virtues of vibration platforms (I totally want one of those - exercise where you just stand there? That's my kind of exercise! I could probably still hold a glass of wine while doing that.) I realise this speaks volumes about my life - or rather my lack of one - but since I just admitted that I am Officially Ancient And Desperate To Not Be above, I pretty much have no shame anymore.

So anyway, where was I? Oh, that's right - a couple of weeks ago I was idly flicking through the channels on Foxtel and I hit the shopping channel, where I saw they were talking about skincare products. Now, even though I have sworn off ever buying anything from the shopping channel, I still watch the skincare and cosmetic hours, because I love the way they describe their products. The chick who flogs Elizabeth Grant bangs on about something called Torricelumn, that is exclusive to their products. Do you know why it's exclusive? BECAUSE IT'S A MADE UP WORD. No, seriously. Tell me what Torricelumn is. It's not in the dictionary. Isn't that fantastic? They have just completely made up a word and made it sound all scientific and magical. It's probably monkey pee. Ladies who wear Elizabeth Grant on their face: IT'S MONKEY PEE. They're not averse to putting fish eggs in their products, either.

So I'm watching and there's this guy called Dimitri babbling on about how all the Greek ladies who go to his church love his products, and then he does an imitation of the Greek ladies telling him how much they love his products. Only he says it in Greek, so for all I know he could be saying every swear word known to man and having a little giggle to himself that he's getting away with it. The host was the Shiny Blonde Lady With Man Hands (who is also oddly pregnant - maybe she and Lady Who Always Seems To Be Pregnant are the same person!) and she seemed a bit taken aback, because she wasn't really getting a word in. Dimitri was not stopping for breath - he just went on and on about his products and how great they were, and what made them great. Even when they brought out models for him to demonstrate on, he still kept talking. Shiny Blonde Lady With Man Hands tried to get in there a couple of times to talk about the price and how many were left, but she didn't have much success. She should have just given up and sat there and had a rest.

There was one particular product that caught my eye - a primer called Orchid Gel. He did a demo on one of the models, and her face looked instantly airbrushed. It was incredible. I was torn between my vow never to buy anything from TVSN and my desire to look airbrushed. Of course, airbrushed won. The only problem was that the Orchid Gel came in a pack with two moisturisers (a day and a night one), and something called Wrinkle Balm Extreme, which you rubbed between your hands and "pressed" into the wrinkles on your forehead. I didn't want any of that stuff, but damn it - I wanted the Orchid Gel. So I cracked and ordered it.

Now, all of that is leading up to a review of these products that I never wanted in the first place. And let me tell you internets, they are EXCELLENT. Though oddly enough, I'm still not entirely sure about the Orchid Gel. It definitely does what he showed on TV, and the results are startling when you see them on yourself, but I think it made me break out a little. It may have been something else - Bob knows I generally have about 10 layers of crap on my face - and I haven't tested it on its own yet to be sure. But even if it does turn out to be bad for me, I have make up BFF J waiting in the wings to get her grubby little hands on it, and the moisturisers that I didn't want in the first place are MINE MINE MINE.

They're kind of odd - they have no water in them (this is his big selling point - he actually gets a food dehydrator out in his "show" and does a demo of other super expensive creams and how much is left once the water is taken out). Since most everything you buy in the skincare arena is largely water, putting something on your face that doesn't have any feels weird. And not entirely pleasant. The first time I used the night cream I put it on at about 6 pm, because I'd had a shower, and sitting around with such a heavy product on for several hours was annoying and uncomfortable. I was tempted to wash it off, but that would have involved getting off the couch, so it didn't happen. And I'm glad now, because when I woke up the next morning my skin was radiant. No kidding - smooth, soft, more even-toned. After one night! I'm all for the instant result, but even I wouldn't have expected anything to act so quickly. Since then I've used it for a week or so (only putting it on right before bed, though), and my skin is getting better and better. I have all these other moisturisers I need to eventually use, and I keep thinking, "Nooooooooo, I never want to stop using this one!"

The day cream is similar to the night cream, and therefore a little more problematic, because it has that same heaviness (not quite so much), and is not entirely comfortable to wear. However, I have found that if I only use a thin layer rather than slathering it on, and then use a moisturising sunscreen, it feels fine. That's the weird thing about it though - it's an anti-wrinkle cream for daytime with no sunscreen. Paula Begoun would not like that at all!

So to sum up that long-winded review, I would definitely recommend the night cream to anyone who is - ahem - getting on a bit and doesn't mind a fairly heavy cream on their face. The day cream is very good too, but not as good as the night cream. I'm still undecided about the Orchid Gel, and I haven't used the Wrinkle Balm.

I'm now waiting very excitedly for this guy to come back to Australia with more products, because this time I WILL BE PREPARED.

Random reviews of various products.

As would be obvious given the theme of this blog, I am something of a skincare and make up junkie - although I saw my friend J's make up collection yesterday and I now feel that mine is completely under control, thank you very much.

Anyway, I am going to now give my opinions on some of the things I have bought or used in recent months. If you have the slightest interest in hearing about such things, read on:


Estee Lauder Perfectionist CP+ Wrinkle Lifting Serum
This is probably the best serum I have ever used (and I have used a lot). I'm not sure that it is really doing anything about wrinkles (I don't have that many, but the ones I do have come under much scrutiny), but it makes my skin feel soft and smooth and lovely.

CONS: Ridiculously expensive. Cheaper on strawberrynet though.


Joey New York Correct-A-Line
Currently my absolute favourite thing in the world. When I first put this on, my make up BFF J and I were astounded. The lines in my forehead completely disappeared and I looked like I'd had (good) botox! The effect only lasts a couple of hours, but you can touch it up easily. This is an amazing primer and I love it to death.

CONS: Joey New York appears to be either going under or pulling out of Australia, as their products are disappearing from our shelves and websites. I am going to buy as much of this stuff as I can find before it is all gone!


Skinn by Dimitri James Orchid Gel Mettefying Day Treatment Primer
I saw this guy on the shopping channel last week and found him immensely entertaining. Usually it's the host babbling on and on and the person spruiking their product doesn't say much beyond the well-rehearsed sales spiel, but this guy was a riot. The babbling hosts couldn't get a word in edgewise. He did a demo of this product and the effect was instantaneous and amazing. The lines on the girl's face disappeared. So of course, I had to have it, even though I make fun of people who buy things from the shopping channel. I AM SECRETLY ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.

The product itself smells lovely and does exactly what it showed on TV. I've only just played with it and not worn it for real out and about, though reviews I've read state that the effect doesn't last long. That's fine, I don't mind touching up.

CONS: I do think the Correct-A-Line - which is the same kind of thing - is slightly better, and also cheaper.


Neostrata Bionic Eye Cream
This is my Holy Grail eye cream. It really does seem to reduce the crows feet and fine lines, and it also reduces fine lines around the lips. It's fantastic, and the only reason I haven't bought any more is because I am determined to use up all the other eye creams and treatments I have first.

CONS: None. It's brilliant.


Sally Hanson Hand Resurfacer with Micro-Crystals
I bought this on a whim in Priceline a couple of weeks ago. I didn't even know such a thing existed -it's a granulated scrub for your hands. My hands are trashed - they are the one thing that could possibly give away my age. This is because I wash them all the time, and use a lot of that anti-bacterial gel. I slather them in hand creams, but they're still pretty dry and wrecked. This product makes them look and feel much smoother, and helps the moisturiser sink in better.

CONS: None. I love it, and I would definitely buy it again.

Estee Lauder Resilience Lift Extreme
I've been using this for a few weeks at night, and in combination with the Perfectionist Anti-Wrinkle Serum. I wake up with soft, smooth skin every morning - it's lovely.

CONS: Heavily fragranced, and ridiculously expensive. It has an SPF so presumably it's meant to be used as a day cream, but it's much too rich to put under make up.


Olay Moisturising Lotion
I have used this on and off for over 25 years - it's the original pink lotion that used to come in a glass bottle and be called Oil of Ulan. It costs $8 at my local IGA, and it's brilliant for Summer when you don't want a heavy cream on your face. I use it all through the hot season every year.

CONS: None at all. It's cheap, light and makes my skin feel soft and fresh. One of my favourite products of all time.


Paula’s Choice 1% Beta Hydroxy Acid Lotion
Apply this under moisturiser in the morning and you will have beautifully smooth, radiant skin. It's a very practical product that really works.

CONS: Paula's Choice products are effective, more so than most, but they're also kind of boring. She is very much against the bells and whistles (she is an industry whistleblower, after all), and even though we beauty junkies know deep down that it is all for show, we still like the pretty packaging and the nice fragrances. It's all part of the fun.


Chanel Mat Lumiere Long Lasting Luminous Matte Fluid Makeup SPF15 Cendre
Finally, after many, many years of searching, I have found my Holy Grail foundation. I flirted with minerals for a while, and I do like them, but I hate the mess, and when it comes to foundation, I much prefer a liquid than a powder. This particular one gives excellent coverage, but doesn't feel like you're wearing make up at all - no horrible mask feeling. I adore it.

CONS: Expensive. However, I do believe that when it comes to foundations, you get what you pay for. And given how much money I have wasted over the years buying the wrong ones only to have them end up thrown in a drawer after a couple of wears, it doesn't seem like that much money to spend on THE ONE.


Everyday Minerals
This is a fantastic range. It is much cheaper than other mineral make up, but still good quality. They have a huge range of colours - the eyeshadows in particular are lovely - and they ship to Australia. You can also get sample kits to try (they used to be free and you could choose which colours you wanted, but I'm not sure if they still are). I had a major love affair with this brand earlier in the year. The eye shadow sample pots last for ages - I've yet to use one up.

CONS: Messy. As much as I love them, I can't stand the mess - it does my head in. Their blushes also tend to be quite orange-y - there are only one or two that I really like.

Australis Eyebrow Pencil Dark Brown
I am obsessed with my eyebrows. I over-plucked and over-waxed and they looked like shit for about a year, and it's only been in the last month or so that they have finally started to come good. This little eyebrow pencil has been very helpful in bringing them back from the brink. I buy a lot of eyebrow products, but I always come back to these pencils - I have about four or five of them in various places around the house and at work. They're $8 in Priceline. Gotta be happy with that.

CONS: None. They are perfect.


Chanel Les 4 Ombres Garden Party
When I wear this, people tell me I look "pretty". It's an eyeshadow quad with two pinks and two greens, and it gives a toned-down, Springtime 80s effect on the eyes. I adore it.

CONS: It is pricy (I paid about $70 on strawberrynet; it's a bit more than that in department stores). I'd buy it again, though. I love it.


Chanel Inimitable #10 and Exceptionnel De Chanel Mascara
Mascara is the one thing I always wear, even if I wear no other make up. I can't live without it. These two are my Holy Grail products, the Inimitable because it's easy to apply, gives great depth and length, and doesn't flake, and the Exceptionnel because it gives great length and comes in beautiful colours. I have the Smoky Noir (greyish-black), Smoky Violine (a violet colour that you can't even really see on the lashes, but it makes my eyes look super green), and Smoky Marine (a dark navy that also makes my eye colour stand out). I don't think I'd ever bother getting a different mascara now that I have discovered these ones.

CONS: Pricy. But you can get them on strawberrynet for a few dollars less than in department stores, and they have free shipping.

And some products I wouldn't bother with again:

Clarins Gentle Foaming Cleanser with Cottonseed
This has an uncomfortable tightening effect on my skin. I use it in the shower sometimes when I feel a bit grimy, but I always have to put moisturisers on immediately afterwards.

Clarins Pure And Radiant Mask with Pink Clay
This made me break out. I love Clarins - it's one of my favourite brands - but I don't have much luck with their masks. The Extra-Firming one really irritated my skin as well.

Garnier Ultra-Lift Pro-X Double Action Eye
I'm using this at the moment just to finish it and get rid of it, but I am convinced it's actually making my eyelids look more crepy. This is one of those gimmicky things I am a sucker for - it has a cream tube on one end for wrinkles and lines, and a gel tube on the other for under eye circles and bags. It doesn't really seem to do anything, though.

Eventone Capillary Repair
For the first week or so, this product was amazing. I get flushed in the cheeks a bit, especially at work where it's always a bit hot in our office, and this reduced the redness dramatically within a couple of days. And then all of a sudden it just stopped working. Weird.

Clarins Younger Longer Balm
Again, as much as I love Clarins, I've never been a fan of their moisturisers. Almost all of them are vastly over-priced and quite mediocre (though the Multi-Active Day Cream is good). This one in particular is horrifically expensive ($142 for 50 ml on Adore) and it feels sticky. A couple of times when I have used it, it's annoyed me so much that I've ended up washing it off.

Bourjois Light Reflecting Concealer Eclat Beige Rose
I used to love Bourjois, but lately everything I buy of theirs is a dud. I don't know if their formulas have gotten crappy or if I've just matured and outgrown them (heh). This concealer is rubbish. It's thin and doesn't conceal anything, and the brush is cheap, nasty crap that gets all bent and horrible after the first use.

Bourjois Mineral Matte Mousse Foundation #81
Another rubbish Bourjois product. This immediately went into every fine line and pore on my face and looked awful. No matter how well I prep and prime it does the same thing every time.

Bourjois Volume Glamour Ultra Curl Noir
And again! At first this mascara was great. It made my lashes look really long and thick - it made them look like false lashes, to be honest. But it went gluggy after a few weeks. Makeup BFF J had some and hers did the same, so it wasn't just me. I do have another Bourjois mascara called Coup de Theatre which is still working quite well after a couple of months (fingers crossed), so maybe it's just the Volume Glamour one that's a dud.

L’Oreal Telescopic Explosion Black
I am a sucker for anything with a gimmick. I saw this in a magazine - it has a teeny little brush shaped like a ball, which supposedly reaches all the little inner lashes. I rushed out and bought one - didn't bother to read reviews, think about it or anything. I just had to have it right then and there. And it's SHIT. The formula is much too wet - it goes everywhere. I also poked myself in the eye with the ball (why does it have to be a ball - couldn't a smaller brush do the same thing?). $27 I spent on this piece of rubbish. J is still laughing at me.

Clarins Bright Plus Total Brightening Serum
This feels lovely on my skin, but does absolutely nothing. There are tons of other serums out there that are cheaper and just as good at doing nothing.